Download PDF Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books

By Tyrone Mccall on Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Download PDF Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books



Download As PDF : Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books

Download PDF Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.




Download PDF Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books


"I had to read this book in short sections because after only one or two pages I would be laughing so hard I couldn't breath and would have to take a break. I repeatedly called home and read long sections to my mom so she could stop breathing with me. My father, who passed away seven years ago, was nothing like the author's dad. He never swore. He had an M.B.A. instead of an MD. Otherwise, they were identical. Mom and I reminisced about him and laughed until we cried. Thank you, Mr. Halpern for bringing many of my father's qualities back to me by showing me your dad.
With gratitude,
Dr Lynn M Keith"

Product details

  • Audible Audiobook
  • Listening Length 3 hours and 8 minutes
  • Program Type Audiobook
  • Version Unabridged
  • Publisher HarperAudio
  • Audible.com Release Date May 4, 2010
  • Whispersync for Voice Ready
  • Language English, English
  • ASIN B003KQMFSQ

Read Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books

Tags : Sh-t My Dad Says (Audible Audio Edition) Justin Halpern, Sean Schemmel, HarperAudio Books, ,Justin Halpern, Sean Schemmel, HarperAudio,Sh-t My Dad Says,HarperAudio,B003KQMFSQ

Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books Reviews :


Sht My Dad Says Audible Audio Edition Justin Halpern Sean Schemmel HarperAudio Books Reviews


  • So, I bought this book on a whim, since it was on sale. I love the and app, but I tend to buy sale ebooks (max $5) … I just keep it cheap if I can’t have a physical copy to hold and love and flip through. There are exceptions to that silly little personal rule, but not many.

    All I can say is that I loved it! Halpern’s dad is a real character and his analogies and the lessons he teaches his son are colorful, to say the least. I laughed until I cried multiple times and my poor wife had to listen to me repeat quote after quote … out of earshot of my kids, of course. The book is definitely Rated R for the volume of cursing.

    This doesn’t bother me, but I’m throwing it out there out of respect for those who it may turn off.

    I really enjoyed getting to know the Halpern family. And, that’s really how I felt … as if I got to peek inside their lives. No family is perfect, and I enjoyed the honesty and quirkiness.

    Kudos to Halpern–great book!
  • I couldn't put this down. If you are offended by language, the title of the book should tell you what you're getting into, but this is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read. Justin Halpern is downright hilarious and has sarcasm and charisma oozing from his words as he retells more stories about his dad and his own life than I have in my entire family. It's almost hard to believe that it's all true, but I sorta hope it is, and he swears it is. I would randomly send quotes from this book to my friends and they'd laugh hard without even understanding where it came from. Once I explained where I got the quotes, they all went and read the book and all have said they've loved it (which is weird since my friends rarely read). Read the descriptions of the book and you get that on every. single. page. He makes fun of himself as much as he talks about his dad, and it's awesome. I can't recommend it enough!
  • Even funnier if you know or knew someone like Dad. I had the luck to know a man like him; he was my best friend's father. He told you the truth in no uncertain terms, usually in language he learned in the Navy. I could hear Gene's voice throughout this book, and feel my heart swell up missing him. Justin Halpern's Dad is the most laugh-inducing, hard-swearing, truth-telling guy you'll ever laugh until you cry over. You might not approve of his language but you're going to appreciate his honesty, how he is there for his family, and his blunt way of telling you what he thinks of everything. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
  • Sh#t My Dad Says was a fairly quick enjoyable read. It was great getting to know the author and most importantly his father. Although what glares at you first is Mr. Halpem Sr and is his command of colorful language it is quick to see through to the man and his love for his son. I could relate to for Justin and being the youngest of much older siblings. You tend to be an afterthought of two tired parents. But they unbeknownst to you have you in their range. Their love hasn't diminished just their enthusiasm for raising kids. Funny and thoughtful at the time. I look forward to reading Justin's other book.
  • I had to read this book in short sections because after only one or two pages I would be laughing so hard I couldn't breath and would have to take a break. I repeatedly called home and read long sections to my mom so she could stop breathing with me. My father, who passed away seven years ago, was nothing like the author's dad. He never swore. He had an M.B.A. instead of an MD. Otherwise, they were identical. Mom and I reminisced about him and laughed until we cried. Thank you, Mr. Halpern for bringing many of my father's qualities back to me by showing me your dad.
    With gratitude,
    Dr Lynn M Keith
  • Sh*t my Dad Says was so fun, I read this book in two days. Accessible, relatable, and absolutely hilarious, the book chronicles highlights from the author’s life though his father’s unusual, typically vulgar viewpoint. There are brief shorts and quippy vignettes, which makes this a great book to read during limited available reading periods. Well-written, poignant, and entertaining, there’s not much to say other than growing up with this dad must have been a riot.
  • Ha!

    This book is hilarious. I loved it.

    The author details his life in a refreshingly open and honest way, while keeping the hilarious sayings his dad comes up with at the fore.

    And his dad's sayings are... AWESOME! Brutal honesty mixed with plenty of foul language makes for some hilarious one-liners. But, once you get a little deeper into the book and understand how much the dad loves his boy, the funny sayings take on a weird sweetness that I just can't explain.

    I'm an old crusty, 43 year old dude with great hair and a thing for bacon, but as I read this book, I pictured myself at the same age as the author in each of the stories, and wished my dad had been as brutally honest with me as his was with him. Man, the trouble a little honesty would have saved me!

    The book is very short, not sure of the page count, but the actual book is small in size and not very long. Which is unfortunate, I could read Halpern's stuff all day long. I read it in one short sitting and immediately wanted more.

    In fact, I pre-ordered his follow-up effort "I Suck At Girls" before I got up from reading the book. It's that funny. The good news is, the second book was as good as the first!
    Thanks, Halperns! You guys are awesome.

    Now, how do I shower my boys (three and five) with the same brutal honesty I admired so much in this book without my wife bouncing a skillet off my skull?